The Happy Return
by Nan
Summary: Missing scene from the episode Close Quarters


Title: The Happy Return  
  
Author: Nan  
  
Rating: PG-13   
  
Classification: vignette, Mac/Harm  
  
Spoilers: Missing scene from the episode Close Quarters  
  
Summary: Harm returns to JAG in the episode Close Quarters. As usual at JAG, there is no fanfare for the return of the prodigal son. A testimony to the admiral's leadership style, that man will never, ever admit that he actually needs someone and there are other exciting places to work besides JAG. And that includes Harm and his exploits with the CIA. And the way the admiral thinks is the way the whole office thinks. Or else. Right?  
  
Does that make the admiral mean spirited? Naw, I don't think so. He just realizes that there is one way to keep our favorite commander in line. And that is to keep him a bit off balance. Keep him guessing. And no one keeps Harm guessing like the admiral.   
  
But I find it hard to believe that Harm's return didn't cause at least a few ripples throughout the office. For example, what was Mac thinking?  
  
******************************************************************  
  
2030 Zulu  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, Virginia  
  
Ugh, this must be your 20th cup of coffee today and it tastes no better than the first at 0700 this morning. Note to self; lay off all of the caffeine. It may give you a welcome jolt of energy to help you through this mountain of work, but it makes a good night sleep a little elusive. And you need your sleep. Especially in this man's office. 'Man' being the operative word. A grumpy senior male officer is just that, grumpy. A sleep-deprived female marine colonel isn't let off the hook that easily. She is just a bitch.  
  
Whoa, where did that come from? That's not you. Despite all of the tension in the office over the last five months or so, you kept your cool. You've been above the fray. That is in spite of all the pressure in this place. Remember Sturgis? What did he call you? A prig? Prig! What Victorian novel has he been reading lately, anyway? But you didn't rise to the bait. You walked out of his office with class. Ooorah, marine.  
  
Well, that nebulous pressure surrounding JAG lately seems to be abating. Funny, isn't it? Somehow the office is back to normal. And that normality coincided with the admiral's announcement yesterday that Harm was returning to JAG.   
  
Maybe there is a simple reason that the atmosphere improved. It was predictable. You and the rest of the senior staff are just scared that you would get no help with the Imes cases. Harm's work ethic is welcome.  
  
But somehow you know it's more than that. Even for the Admiral. He seemed almost happy today. Almost makes you wonder if he is actually looking forward to some future confrontation with his wayward commander.  
  
The admiral isn't the only one who is looking forward to having Harm back. You never thought you would be so glad to see anyone. You are ecstatic. Life will be good again when he walks through those doors in that immaculate commander's uniform. Pressed and square away like only Harmon Rabb could do. And that uniform fitting that well formed body like a glove.   
  
It's not that he didn't look good in that collared shirt and dark pants of a civilian. Harm could make any clothes look good. But the universe won't be right until he is back in uniform. At JAG.  
  
Uncharacteristically, you silently pray, 'Oh please, lord, I've been a good girl. Just make Harm walk through those doors like nothing has changed. If not for me, for his sake.'  
  
You've been miserable for the last five months. Okay, maybe it's more like four and half months. There was at least two weeks after Paraguay that all you felt was anger. Anger at Harm. For saving your life? How illogical was that, anyway? You're not really sure, but somehow all of Paraguay became Harm's fault.   
  
But everything that happened could be fixed now with Harm's return to JAG. If only Harm would walk through those glass doors with that flyboy smile on his face.   
  
You secretly glance upward again addressing that long-suffering deity, 'Lord, I'll never get mad at him again. No more snipping. I promise. I'll even compliment his meatless meatloaf.'  
  
If Harm returns, this massive sense of guilt will stop. You'll be able to look at the admiral straight in the eye again. And Bud.   
  
When Harm returns, not if. Remember? The admiral said he was coming. So he is coming. Right?  
  
But what happens if Harm returns and he is like he was the other night. When you saw him at his loft apartment, holding his guitar against his chest to ward off a secret attack from you. When you saw what you never thought you would see from Harmon Rabb. Bitterness. Failure. It was staggering Somehow that just doesn't go with that man. And it scared you to death.  
  
What if he returns and he is like that? What if he is still mad at you? What if he is still mad at all of JAG? I mean, you were there when the admiral said he wasn't a team player and run by his emotions. You knew that cut to the core. And that isn't the only thing. It was you and the rest of the office that ignored him during the fiasco that was Singer's murder trial. That let him rot in the brig like he was some sort of criminal. How can he forgive that?  
  
What if he can't put that behind him? Could you put it behind you? What if he is just coming back to put in his years and then quickly retire? What if you've ruined his career and life forever?  
  
You pray again, 'Please, Lord, make things go back to normal. Please?'  
  
Okay, okay. Think logically here. You didn't ask him to rescue you in Paraguay, did you? That was totally his decision. And he made that decision thinking the admiral would take him back. This is really the admiral's fault. Not yours. Quit feeling guilty.   
  
But your mind harkens back to an old conversation on the Guadalcanal. Wasn't it you that challenged him about what he would give up for you? So, Mackenzie, you think he has done enough yet?   
  
You know now that you wish more than anything if you could change things, there were a few conversations that you would change. All of them with Harmon Rabb. And the discourse on the Guadalcanal being number one on the list.  
  
But all will be okay, if he just walks through those doors. Like nothing has changed. Please.  
  
Maybe he is already here and you didn't notice. If you get a cup of coffee you could check Singer's old office and no one would guess.  
  
Yuck, no more coffee. Just be patient. What the h--- is taking him so long? You wonder what hoops personnel must be putting him through to be reinstated. The day is almost over. Come on.   
  
Maybe he has changed his mind.  
  
Oop, there's Coates. You need her to give the admiral a file. That'll give you a chance to make a quick check down the hall.  
  
Wait, wait. It's him.  
  
There he is. Harm's here. Walking through those doors. Smiling. Not a huge smile, but passable. It's the old Harm. Not that Harm you saw in his apartment. You feel relief flood through your body. It's okay. He's okay. We'll all be okay. You nod in his direction and dive for your office to hide. If you didn't, he might notice the silly grin you have on your face. He's talking to Harriet. She's a class act. She'll get him settled.  
  
Your pulse goes back to normal and you sit down at your desk. Phew. Still time in the day to get some serious work done. Everything is okay. Everything is back to normal.  
  
'Thank you,' you address upward again. 'I know I didn't deserve this.' 


End file.
